He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Prayers for Baby Tate

My SWEET sister in law started a prayer group on facebook for Tate. It already has 530 followers and thats just on facebook!! I have been trying to keep everyone updated but its so hard. This has been a great thing to have. I can just post something and everyone I know has an update. So to all my blogger friends if you have a facebook this is an awesome way to stay up to date with whats going on with Baby Tate!
Prayers For Baby Tate

Neo Doctor

I just called the NEO Doctor. and Im waiting on him to call me back. Im nervous about what he is going to say. Please pray that I ask the right questions! We were sent home with nothing. Tate was sent home without being fully examined and now that hes 3 WEEKS old, we are curious as to how hes doing (on the inside). We can see that he has a few problems, but this is nothing like what any of us expected. We just want some answers in how to better take care of Tate! Thank you all for your prayers!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Yesterday Tate turn 2 WEEKS OLD!!!
This has been a better week. Our hospice care was on 24 crisis care, starting this week we only have a nurse that will come out once a week. The nurse comes out and says Tate looks good, real real good! We are still moment by moment with him but you cant help and say PRAISE THE LORD when his color looks better, he doesnt need his O2 as much, hes eating from a bottle, sucking a paci and eating more. Hes gone from 2-3 cc's every 2 hours to 14-25 cc's every 2-3 hours! Hes growing! Thank you for your prayers!

Please keep those AWESOME prayer coming!
  • I talked to our pediatric nurse yesterday and they think we need talk to the nicu doctor before they see him but Tate was never "checked out" by any doctor other than a few...well several nicu doctors that came in to look at the baby "born lifeless" and tell us what they thought of him. We were sent home with nothing. Tate never spent one min. in the nicu. We only talked to a nicu dr. several weeks before delivery to discuss our comfort care only birth plan. No one thought that Tate would be here this long and be doing so well. So I will be calling UAB soon to say -hey Praise the Lord Tate is still here...now what?!
  • David and I are so tired! My mom is still here so she is helping SO SO much! I feel so bad for sleeping. I want to watch Tate every second of the day! I feel he needs me. I know I need to sleep so I can better take care of him, but you mothers out there who have lost a child and have gone through this know what Im talking about. I will not waste a minute. Thats why I havent gotten on here to write as much because it takes time away!
  • David is still home from work. We feel the Lord will provide all we need. We feel Tate is here to show His Power and Grace and that He still performs miracles everyday!
  • Please pray that the Lords Will be done with Tates life!!

I meant to post this last night but forgot to push the post button. forgive me, Im really not all here.

David is taking a nap with Tate so I thought I would give everyone an update but to be honest I dont have a clue what day its is or what time its is. My computer is telling me it 2:30am but I dont think thats right....I cant tell you how tired I am! I havent slept in in 12 days. I will sleep later! I have too much to look at. I have the sweetest little boy that I could just stare at forever. One day Im going to be able to sit and update everything that has happened but until then THANK YOU for your prayers! They help more than I can say! There arent enough thank yous in the world! We have had some bad days and some good days. We are learning Tates personality. He is so sweet! Hes been having some tummy troubles! He needs to have a poopy diaper. He hasnt had one in 5days! Hes breathing is sometimes shallow. Its very nerve racking to watch. Hes had a few episodes where he'll completely stop breathing. This is how we were told Tate would pass. Because of the extra chromosome in each cell Tate will have breathing apnea. Its excruciating to watch. There is still so much "unknown" and we dont understand alot of things but we are trusting the Lord! He has a plan for Tates life and all we can do is trust!

    Wednesday, June 15, 2011

    HAPPY ONE WEEK BIRTHDAY Baby Tate!




     
    Tate tuned ONE week old! We are enjoying every minutes with him! we had a birthday party for him with cake and everything! so special to hear Kevin and Allie sing happy birthday to him. We don't want to over do it with him, so he says in mommy annd daddys bed most of the time. I could stare at him all day... and I do! The Lord has given us this time and I m not wasting it!!! We LOVE him so much!
    Pray:
    His breathing is irregular and his heart rate will sometimes be low.
    He's temp will come down
    Living moment by moment is so hard. I can't even explain it! Like I said I'm not wasting one minute! each is a gift from God! We've had 3 scares so far! Its the worst thing Ive ever had to watch and go through! Its  emotionally draining!
    We are so tired! Its hard not to watch him every second. Hes eating every 1-2 hours!
    We have 24 hour nurse care. We're thinking about only having a night nurse but we are afraid to not have someone around to tell us what to do!
    For good nurses! we have been so blessed with great ones so far!
    I feel having a hard time stretching myself between the kids and Tate. Allie has been bouncing off the walls ever since we got home. I know she only 2 and this is all new to her, to have a nurse, Gigi and Daddy home everyday is different!  And sure she would act this way regardless to Tates health, he's still a new baby to her.
    My mom has been here and I honestly don't know what I would do without her! she has kept the kids preoccupied, feed, clean and happy! I know she's tired!
    More good days!
    David has been home since we had Tate. We were hopeful to Tate being with us but didn't expected it, so we don't know when he'll go back. I don't want him going back yet, and he needs to be here. We trust the Lord to provide because this is all about His plan!

    Thank you so much for your prayers! 


    Sunday, June 12, 2011

    We're Home!


    Tate is Home! PRAISE BE TO GOD!!! We came home Thursday night! Tate David Jones was born at 6:14 pm, weight: 5.006 height: 17 3/4 inches long! I can't wait to tell Tates story! I don't want to miss one moment with Tate so that's why havent updated! I will say this, Tate was born lifeless and after 4 minutes the Lord brought him back! I'm telling you this is a story to hear and praise the Lord for!
    We know the Lord has a great purpose for Tate! We are moment by moment with him. Each moment is a gift from God! This has been a roller coaster ride! Its so so hard, there are no words to describe it, i dont think I would be able to! We love him so much and love spending the precious moments with him! we thank you for your prayers. What a mighty God we serve! When I get more time will tell his story! Thank you thank you for your prayers!!! please continue to pray! Tate has come a long way and some days are harder than others! I'm so tired physically and emotionally, as is David! We have a 24 hour hospice, nurse here. He is on oxygen a lot because it makes him more comfortable and thats all we want for him! We want to show him what it means to be loved and we are doing it every minute of the day! Please keep our family in your prayers we have a long, unknown road ahead!

                                                                  Cricket




    Monday, June 6, 2011

    The Time Has come

     My heart and mind are racing. Tomorrow at 6:00 am, we go in to meet the little boy who has changed our lives. So many emotions are going through us right now. We're excited, scared, overwhelmed, at peace......and so many more! To think tonight is the last time I will feel Tate move around inside my tummy, the last time to feel his sweet, little feet in my ribs makes me just want to say no, he can stay where he is forever. But I know its time to meet him. I cant run from it. I have enjoyed being pregnant with Tate more than I could ever explain! He has helped me become a better person. Its time to face what the Lord has been preparing us for. I dont feel Im as ready as I thought. Labor, thats only the beginning. When he is born, thats when Im going to hold my breath. Anytime I get upset, I ALWAYS get a little kick from Tate, as if hes telling me -mommy dont worry! I can feel the Lord wrapping His Loving Arms around me. The Lord, has great plans for Tates life! Weather that means he stays here on earth with us for years, months weeks, days, hours, minutes or the Lord feels he needs to be in heaven, David and I will know it was all part of a GREAT plan from HIM! The Lord and your prayers are what have gotten David and I through this time of unknown. But now, its time to know. Please continue to pray for our family in the coming days, weeks, and months. We still have a long way to go no matter the outcome!


    Psalm 33:22
     22 Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,
          for our hope is in you alone


    Psalm 33:18
    But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him, on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,

    Psalm 143:8
    Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul.

    Psalm 55:22
    Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

    Philippians 4:13
    For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

    Psalm 72:15
    And live! Oh, let him live!
    I could go on and on...beacause of Tate, I have been in my bible everyday! I love reading about our Lords unfailing Love!

    Friday, June 3, 2011

    Its been a day full of emailing. Our grief counselor and another lady from UAB are helping us get everything lined up. I didnt want to be induced, somehow that put too much control in my hands but as I have said before the Lord has a plan all worked out, we are just trying to take each step that He has shown us to take. The fact that things are lining up this way only helps us see that this is what the Lord is wanting us to do. Usually you dont know who your nurse will be until the day of. Well there is a nurse that has agreed to be there for us. David and I feel very relieved by this. She will already know what our birth plan is and knows what to expect in our situation. This means we wont have to keep explaining our wishes over and over! We can focus completely on the Lord and Tate! Also the NEO doctor that will be there is the doctor we have already met! We had a meeting several weeks ago about our wishes for Tate. He is very supportive and understanding! Thank you for your prayers! I know the Lord is hearing them! How things are lining up. We cant help but see it!!!   

    He is my All and All

    2 Corinthians 12:9-10 9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

    I read this the other day and have thought of it everyday since. When I am down I think of it and I dont feel so bad for feeling weak. The Lord is made strong in my weakness. The fact that Gods power is displayed in our weakness should give us hope and courage. As I see what my limits are, I depend more on God rather than my own energy and effort. I feel our limitations not only help build our christian character but it also deepens our worship, because admitting weakness we confirm the Lords strength. I know that when tuesday rolls around the Lord is going to be right by my side, as He has been throughout! He is going to do what He feels is right for our family. I know there will be good and bad days, regardless of the outcome. I know when I feel weak, I will still give Him ALL the praise! He is my All and All!  

    I feel the Lord knows that David and I have been having a hard time these past few days. The fact that there is a date set for Tates arrival is hard. I have received some of the most encouraging emails. Most saying that because of Tates story the have a better relationship with the Lord. They can see the Lord in our situation and cant believe our strength. Strength that only the Lord can give! That is what we've wanted from the beginning. That the Lord will be glorified! The Lord deserves all the credit!

    2 Corinthians 12:5-6 5 That experience is worth boasting about, but I’m not going to do it. I will boast only about my weaknesses. 6 If I wanted to boast, I would be no fool in doing so, because I would be telling the truth. But I won’t do it, because I don’t want anyone to give me credit beyond what they can see in my life or hear in my message,



    Thursday, June 2, 2011

    I was up tonight looking at my facebook page, checking emails and so on.  I have been emailing back and fourth with our grief counselor for months. She has been so great to us. Shes an amazing christian and I cant imagine going through this with someone who wasnt a believer. We have been so blessed to have such a great support system during this time. I got an email from her tonight that was a forward from a friend of hers, who is a pastor. This is the MOST beautiful thing Ive ever read. It touched me deep to my core. I was weeping while reading this. This is from someone who doesnt even know us, but he knows the Lord! Im so thankful to those who pray for us and Tate. I say thank you, but I always feel thank you is not enough!

    Had a revelation of sorts as I was praying...sensed the phrase 'be of good cheer' and the word 'blessed'.
    It was as if the Spirit was communicating about Tate, who Tate is in the eyes of the Father. Sat with this for a few minutes. Felt a prompting to look up the meaning of his name, Tate--it comes from Old English meaning 'cheerful or happy'. Immediately, upon reading this my spirit and mind went directly towards the Beatitudes. The words blessed in the setting of the Beatitudes carries the weight of the meaning of Tate's name. As I prayed through this for a few minutes and asked Father what was there in this to use in praying strategically for restoration, I immediately sensed some thoughts on Tate's identity.
    I specifically was drawn to this word 'blessed'. I sensed the Spirit communicating that in Tate's name there is a very stately character in Tate's design. I kept sensing the concept of cheerful, happy, and this led me to this deep seated sense of blessed. He contains blessedness in a stately, kingly way. His design by God contains this. This is his make up, had this sense that this is who Tate is in design and character. This is the bent set inside of him and his DNA.
    Then, as I continued to chase this and ask...this phrase surfaced in my Spirit, 'call him blessed'. So I go and do some research to see if I can find this particular phrase in the Bible for more insight into this flow. And wow, just look at Psalm 72:17 in particular, but really the entire Psalm reveals this stately, kingly character. It basically is the prayer where a king asks God to help his son rule justly and wisely therefore bring his blessedness to the people that he governs. And when I got to verse 17 there were the words that the Spirit communicated to me, "call him blessed". This is the deep sense I had in my spirit as I prayed for Tate, Cricket, & David in all of this.
    And just prior to this verse there is such a chorus of praise prayed over this kingly son and blessed nature sensed by the king father, that he breaks out in a jubilant prayer..."phrases like 'deck him out in Sheba gold, bless him from morning to night, fields of golden grain in the land that crest the mountains in wild exuberance through this son's blessedness, cornucopias of praise because of this kingly, stately, blessed son--praises springing up like grass from the earth'...and then this phrase is in the passage, just struck me deep when I saw it, 'May he never be forgotten [and Natalie & Pat will play a key role here in this unfolding], may his fame shine on like sunshine, may all godless people enter his circle of blessing and bless the One who blessed them.' [all of the phrases are taken from The Message Bible, and the 'call him blessed' is seen in the New American Standard Bible]
    Then there is one phrase in there that I want to pray the rest of time until this little baby is born, it really strikes me deep...and with the stark prognosis of what is to unfold at his birth not sure what it means other than this is the way I am suppose to pray, "And live! Oh, let him live!" is the exact line from The Message Bible and it reads, "Long live the king!" in the NIV.
    I am not sure of what all this means in our natural realm, I just know that this is how I am praying for Tate, Cricket, David, the doctors and nurses involved in his birth, Pat, & Natalie and John--and everyone who enters the circle of this blessed, cheerful, happy king name Tate.
    The following song kept surfacing too as I continued to pray...  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkw3a4raWfg&feature=related , and the following, I felt to pray these words over all of you, especially Tate, Cricket, & David! "Lord we [Tate, Cricket, David, doctors, nurses, Pat, Natalie, John, and all who enter the circle of blessedness of this little king under the King of kings] need you now more than ever!" And God directed me to pray it with the passion of the artist of this song. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jj4y8TNQud4&feature=related