He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Monday, April 9, 2012

I heard this song while taking Kevin to school this morning.  As I listened to the words, it was all I could to to hold myself together. There are times I think of Tates life and death and its just overwhelming.
When I heard this song, about half way through it I stopped thinking of myself and the pain I feel on a daily basis and thought of his life in heaven.  I love thinking of his life in heaven. Its one thing I can cling to that I know is true! He is in heaven. For a mother, its very reassuring.
I love when a song forces you to think beyond what this life is. When you cant deny the unfailing love of God! 

This is the beginning:
Even though a part of me has died
You take my heart and breathe it back to life
I fall into Your arms open wide
When the hurt and the healer collide
Sometimes I feel it's all that I can do
Pain so deep that I can hardly move
Just keep my eyes completely fixed on You
Lord take hold and pull me through

Then heres the moment the sweetest thought came to mind.
The moment Tate was ushered into heaven. The moment Tate saw the face of his Savior.  The moment his Lord took him in His arms and said, "Its over now. Well done, thy good and
faithful servant!"

It's the moment when humanity
Is overcome by majesty
When grace is ushered in for good
And all the scars are understood
When mercy takes its rightful place
And all these questions fade away
When out of weakness we must bow
And hear You say "It's over now"

Its a beautiful song!

{Dont forget to pause the background music}

Tate, I miss you! More than anything!! I will see you soon! When all my "whys" are answered.... I will hold you and never have to let go! So until then, let the Healer hold you! I know He is holding me here! Just as He gave me grace to let you go, I know He will give me grace to live life without you!



Brandy said...

That is sooo beautiful! The love that you have for your baby boy just radiate through your words. I know it is so strong that he can't help but feel that love every second. It is such a comfort to know that Tate is in Heaven with our Lord. But I am so sorry for the loss you feel here without him. Just know prayers are being said for you and your family.

Post a Comment