He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Monday, November 7, 2011

HE SHOT HIS ARROWS DEEP INTO MY HEART. THE THOUGHT OF MY SUFFERING AND HOPELESSNESS IS BITTER BEYOND WORDS. I WILL NEVER FORGET THIS AWFUL TIME, AS I GRIEVE OVER MY LOSS. YET I STILL DARE TO HOPE WHEN I REMEMBER THIS: THE UNFAILING LOVE OF THE LORD NEVER ENDS! BY HIS MERCIES WE HAVE BEEN KEPT FROM COMPLETE DESTRUCTION. - LAMENTATIONS 3:13, 19-22

Tate, today you would have turned 5 months old. I would have made you cupcakes or cookies and watched as you played. Maybe rolling over or putting your feet in your mouth ... like any other 5 month old would...
I miss you so much it hurts. Today I thought of you in a way that I havent allowed myself to think of you. Mostly because its too painful. The kids and I were outside laying in the grass watching the leaves fall.  Kevin asked me did you live in the clouds. I simply told him, you lived far past the clouds....in the most beautiful place. He seem satisfied with that answer. So he went to play on the swing set with Allie. As I watched them, I thought....what would you have been like if you stayed here with me. Who would you be like? Would you be like you sister- a carefree and somewhat wild spirit or would you be more like your brother- very reserved, soft and shy? What would you have grown up to be?
I  KNOW the Lord never meant for you to be here one day more than you were. I KNOW your days were numbered in His book long before I even dreamed of you. I just wish I could have you in my arms. I miss you more than words could ever express.
Love, Mommy

Thank you Lord, for allowing me to be Tates mommy but oh how the hurt lingers, help me remember your unfailing love. Make your faithfulness and goodness known and more vivid than my pain!

Cricket~


1 comments:

Clayton James said...

I love you oh so much, Cricket. Your life and faith is such a blessing to me in so many ways. I'm praying that your pain begin to turn into a joyful spirit knowing that God loves us and we will be with Him one day, and for all days in eternity together!

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