He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

A Box Of Cake Mix

How can a box of cake mix make me cry like this?
This box was to be Tates 8th week birthday cake. Every week the kids and I tried to come up with different and fun ways to celebrate Tates weekly birthdays. Every Monday night we would make a plan of what we were going to do. Some weeks we did cookies, cupcakes and his 7th week Gigi make him (us) a pound cake. It gave the kids something to do for Tate. No matter how awful it turned out, the kids did it for their baby brother! It was time I got to spend with them.
Every day I look into the kitchen cabinet and I see this unused cake mix. I cant seem to even move it! I wont throw it out and I cant bring myself to make it. I just look at it and it makes me sad. Tate was 7 weeks and 4 days old when he left. He was so close to his 8th week birthday!
There are so many thing that I cant seem to move. There are 3 little bottles with formula in the fridge that were for his next feeding. They are still in the fridge in the same spot I put them when I made them that day. I have tons of diapers and formula that Tate never used that I have packed up in the car to take to Save-A-Life and I have gone out to the car every time and brought them back in the house. I want to give them to help with donations but I cant seem to do it. I will soon.  
Thank you for your thoughts and prayers for our family!

Psalm 34:18 18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted;
      he rescues those whose spirits are crushed

Week 1

Week 2

Week 3

Week 4
Tate and Daddys birthday!
Sometimes friends or family would bring us a cake to help celebrate. Both David and I shared birthdays with Tate.

Week 5
I look so bad. I just got home from Liams funeral. He was the sweetest little boy. It was the first time I had ever been away from Tate.  Its amazes how many emotions I had that day.  Tate and Liam, I know are playing together right now.

Week 6
Tate and mommys birthday. 6 weeks and 26 year old

Week 7
I cant find our family picture fo week 7. I have looked and look. I will find it and post it later.

Week 7.
What a beautiful baby boy!

Helping Mommy Make Baby Tates Cakes and Cookies!


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