He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Today starts a new kind of day. Today David started back work so its just me Kevin and Allie Faith. Kevin doesnt start school until Sept. 6th. He is SO excited! Today the kids and I are going to clean out every closet and dresser drawer in our house (and maybe come to yours). I know they will just love that.....But its my attempt to keep MYSELF busy. If I dont, I will cry and cry and cry....I know alot of people would tell me its ok to cry and yes it is (and I do and will), its just when I cry about Tate I cant stop! This cry, like any mother who has lost a child, it physically hurts. I feel my arms are so empty and they hurt, my chest feels like its bruised. If I sit and do nothing thats what I will do. I will find myself at a really bad low. So Im going to use the strength the Lord has given me and CLEAN OUT. Kevin starts school soon and we've got to get this place organized. Dont worry, Im not saying I wont cry or grieve for Tate, I just need to keep busy while I do it.

Thank you to all who came Sunday to Tates Celebration of Life. We were so overwhelmed with loved shown by others. It ment the world to us to have you all there to share in looking back at Tates pictures, letting go of 203 balloons, 53 blue balloons, representing Tates 53 WONDERFUL days and 150 white balloons representing a small portion of prayers from you all, and hearing the word of God preached. Thank you again, it was the most special day of my life! I will never forget it~

When Allie Faith watched the balloons float away and as they got higher in the sky she said, "just like baby Tate"!

Mighty Wave By Sarah Reeves. This is a song I had played at the celebration. It so beautiful!

I know the Lord has great plans for our future! Joy come in the morning.



Laine said...

Cricket your family is in our prayers EVERYDAY. We grieve with you. And go ahead and clean out when you feel like it, and sit and do nothing when you feel like it. It's your heart in God's Hands and He will guide you to what you need to do each moment.
We love you all....

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