He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Thursday, March 17, 2011

There are so many things going on in my life lately. Right when I think I cant handle anymore....guess what happens? Sometimes I wonder (still) why are we going through this? I thought maybe I had an answer a few weeks ago.
But truth be told I dont think I'll have an answer. The Lord only knows! 
I have tried walking this weary path with my eyes set on the Lord! I feel the devil has literally been throwing rocks in my path!!!
Only the Lord is going to give me strength.
He will be holding my hand and He will catch all my tears!
He will be with me when I dont understand certain situations, when I dont understand why some people (I love) act the way they do!
He will get me through everyday that I have doubt!
He will hold my hand when the devil puts people in my path to discourage me, when people act out! Do people really think I have time for that stuff right now?
Im so emotionally tired I cant even begin to understand certain things!
I feel I have been tested and tested and IM TIRED!!! The thought of how hard it will be in the coming weeks, months and yes even years! Trying to balance the hope and the doubt, the reality and the dream, what people think I should be doing and what the Lord is having me do!
All I want is my son to be healthy, to bring him home and to hold and love on him and never let go. I dont know if I will get to do that! And thats unbearable!
Every trip to the doctors, I cling to the hope that they will tell me Tates completely healthy!
I dont know what tomorrow holds. I only know the Lord is who get me through these times!

I feel I am like a wave in the sea being blown and tossed by the wind!

"But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt,
because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea,
blown and tossed by the wind."
James 1:6 (NIV)


The Murray's said...

I love you to the bone. You are a strong and loving woman. The Lord can calm the waters you are being tossed in.

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