He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Friday, January 21, 2011



I know alot of people like to say, the Lord would never give you anything you cant handle. You may think how can I deal with this, why me, why now but He knows you better than you know yourself.
The other day I was trying to find something to do to keep my mind of the "what if's". I was scrubbing the bathroom listening to my Christian radio and to Kevin and Allie Faith play. I focused on the sweet thought that this time next year Tate will be here to play with them, but then the devil found his way into my sweet thought. So I prayed: "Lord please help me understand...understand any of this...I know this could be nothing. I know Youre in control of everything! So Please Help Me Understand why this situation"  My thoughts just went from one thing to another. Are we going through this for me, for David, for someone I dont even know? Why me, why my child? It would be easier if it were me but not my child. Then I prayed "Lord please just touch my heart through a song that I can hear so I can sing your praise. I want to know why but I know You know whats best"
As soon as I said that prayer the Lord answered my prayer. The song No Matter What by Kerri Roberts came on. I know the Lord answers prayers but my goodness...That was INSTANT!
The first line in the song was just what I need to hear. It may have caught ME by surprise but NOTHING SURPRISES YOU AND BEFORE A HEARTACHE CAN EVER TOUCH MY LIFE IT HAS TO GO THROUGH YOUR HANDS!
Sometimes when things happen to us we dont understand. Our first instinct is to ask God why. But I think we forget that He already knows and its for us to search our hearts to see what He is having us learn. He knew what my reaction would be and He already knows the outcome. So whatever the Lord has decided for us, we understand it came from Him and we trust Him!  He will never leave our side!

"I’m running back to Your promises one more time
Lord that’s all I can hold on to
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises You
Before a heartache can ever touch my life
It has to go through Your hands
And even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why"


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