He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Monday, January 17, 2011

Unexpected News


We also got some unexpected news from the doctor today and we are in need of your prayers!
Today after the ultrasound David went to work and my mom took the kids to hang out while I finished up what I thought would be a quick doctors appointment.
When Dr. Simmons came in the room and sat down and I felt very nervous by the look of his face. He is a very upbeat doctor always laughing and singing, but when he came in and sat down I knew something must be wrong. He asked me if I took the down syndrome screening test last month. I told him no that I just decided not to take it this time. He said that was fine but after looking at the ultrasound pictures he felt we needed to go to UAB for further testing. He thinks the baby may have Down Syndrome. I was in shock when he was telling me this. The ONE time I decided not to take the test. It should have been done. Although he said the test isnt as reliable as the testing at UAB. So before I left I took the blood test and it will be 2 weeks before I get those results back. This Wednesday UAB should call for an appointment. Dont know if it will be this week or next.
 Here are the reasons he gave me that made him feel Tate may have Down Syndrome. 1. His head is very small. 2. He couldn't see brain very good and it maybe because it has fluid on it. 3. Hes heart was hard to see on the ultrasound and is small.
So we have been referred to UAB for an ultrasound that should be more conclusive. He told me it could turn out to be nothing but he couldnt rule it out.
After I left his office I called David and I was ok. He asked if this was something we should tell everyone or just keep it to ourselves and usually Im all for keeping stuff private but I said I think what need is going to be prayers from everyone! So he was going to call his parents and I was going to call mine and start a phone tag of telling family. Well on the way to pick up the kids from my mom I started to think of all the things that could go wrong. I started thinking if he does have DS what would his life be like, what would our life as a family be like? I couldn't control the tears. Its hard not to think of the negative and "what ifs".
 I have done nothing but cry all day! Its not that Im upset because of what Im going to have to go through, Im upset because I fear what his life will be like. I will love him no matter what. If he does have Down syndrome it wont matter. He will be loved by all.
 I know it could be nothing but until then I need your prayers!
I know the the Lord works in mysterious ways!

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