He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Friday, January 28, 2011

My help comes from the Lord

No, we dont have a diagnosis yet, but Im preparing myself for what we are going through at this time....this moment, this hour, this minute, this second. The unknown! We have so many decisions to make. So many doctors to see. So while we are going through this process I want to draw closer to the Lord. David and I both feel this is something the Lord has given us to deal with and we arent giving ANY credit to the devil for anything other than our doubts and fears.
Last night I broke into my savings jar and went to the LifeWay and Walmart to find a devotional. I found a few actually.

To be honest....I am not someone who can just open a bible and know where to find helpful verses. So I found a few pocket size inspirations. Im hoping when I feel sad and discouraged I can open one of them and just find the Lord. I got a book by Charles Stanley called How To Let God Solve Your Problems. Its a small book only about 150 pages. I am loving this book! I also got a book by Angie Smith called I Will Carry You. I came across this book online when I was doing some research. I wanted to find some christian families who are going through this or have gone through this process. She has a blog called Bring The Rain. She is the wife of Todd Smith. He is a christian singer in the group called Selah. She has a powerful message about the loss of a baby and how she got through it with help from the Lord. Her doctors discovered conditions leaving her daughter "incompatible with life". I havent been able to read it yet. But I went ahead and got it. I also got 2 notebooks. One for doctors appointments. Last week we were told the worst news of our lives and I couldnt remember one thing the doctor told me. So now when I go to doctors appointments I can write it all down. The 2nd one is for my personal thoughts. I got waterproof mascara too. A must!
Once again, I know we havent gotten a diagnosis. But I feel its our job to search our hearts and find what God is tell us. I know the Lord can heal Tate, I will never doubt that. We just want to be prepared. The Lord has a plan and we are trusting that plan. 
That doesnt mean this is going to be hard. There are days I just want to fall apart and ask the Lord Why? Why my child? Why us? I cant begin to explain how or what I feel. This is just something the Lord has lead me to do during this time of unknown!
Trusting the Lord with all our hearts!

We thank you for your prayer! They are really what get me through the day!


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