He shot His arrows deep into my heart. The thought of my suffering and hopelessness is bitter beyond words. I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. YET I DARE to Hope when I remember this: The UNFAILING Love of the Lord NEVER ENDS! By His mercies we have been kept from complete destruction.
Lamentations 3:13,19-22

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Father show me the way to lead them...

Today I'm going to post something very personal! Something Ive been dealing with. I pray the Lord will help me say what is on my heart!
You know I have 2 sweet kids. Kevin and Allie Faith! They are a blessing from the Lord and I love them with everything I have in me!
I have always known I was meant to be a mother but that doesn't mean just because Ive known I wanted kids that everyday would be a bed of roses and that I would know what I'm doing. Some days I feel its a struggle just to get through the day. Every parent has moment where they feel they have failed or they haven't been giving it their all. You ask "There only 4 and 1 and 1/2. Why do you feel this way? You have so much time to help them grow up?" I ask myself those questions all the time. It's just that I feel I want to be the best parent I can be for my kids from the beginning. 
The point of all this is that I want to live my life everyday knowing I did my very best as a parent. My dream would be that I would never have to look back and think I could have done that differently, but sad to say I'm sure I will look back and think exactly that. That I could have done it all differently. Its just part of being human. Reality is that there will be days (lots of days) where i feel like I'm doing everything wrong! BUT there is hope for me and for others who feel this way. The Lord is the one who gets me through the day and will get me through everyday that I'm a parent! That is the best feeling I could have.
 My prayer is that I can lead  them with strong hand because the Lord has led me with His strong and mighty hands. I want to be the best example for my kids. I want them to see I live my life for the Lord and no one and nothing else. I want my kids to grow into strong, God fearing, respectful, loving adults. I want them to live a life for the Lord!  
You say that's so far away! Well I was thinking that too but the truth is that its not. I remember being young....and now I have 2 kids. One day they will look back and feel they were just kids also!
 Life Happens in a BLINK!!
"Father show me the way to lead my kids!"

Here are a few songs that I feel the Lord as laid on my heart these past few days!    

If it doesn't play here is a link. Lead Me

If it takes too long to load here's the link. Blink


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